The Prayer Room was a waste of my time.
As a missionary training community, we gathered there 6+ hours a week, worshiping Jesus and praying for the nations. Where I expected to have more meetings, class, or practical ministry—we spent that time pursuing God’s presence together.
However, every time I prayed, it felt like it wasn’t actually doing anything.
I didn’t feel anything dramatic.
And I felt like I could have used that time to be way more productive.
Two years went by, and I got used to the Prayer Room—even started liking it. So much so, I decided to spend six months at the International House of Prayer in the USA, where I was in there 40 hours a week.
By that point, I absolutely loved it. But something was missing. I still had moments when I felt like I needed to be more productive. I needed a shift—but I didn’t know what.
In July, I decided to do the One Thing Internship back here in New Zealand.
Those four weeks were filled with learning the beauty of God and growing in intimacy with Him. Through our times together, I actually witnessed the holy and trembling fear before the living God. I never used to cry in class, but I couldn’t help it as tears rolled down my face. I was captivated by how beautiful and mighty the Lord is.
As I learned more about the life of David, I ached to do what he desired, which was to dwell in God’s house, and to gaze upon His beauty. I wanted to know what actually captivated David to have this one desire.
When I learned about Mary of Bethany, I wanted to know what captivated Mary to sit at His feet, and extravagantly worship Him. I yearned to see what she saw in Jesus that she would break her alabaster jar, and pour expensive perfume over His head.
Finally, I was taken to the Throne Room scene in Revelation 4, where the four living creatures gave glory and honour to the One who sits on the throne. I wanted to know what captivated them so much that they wouldn’t rest day and night as they declared how holy He is!
Ultimately, I realised when we’re absolutely struck by who the Lord is, it causes us to worship, to pray, and seek Him wholeheartedly.
Even though I don’t always start off “feeling” what I pray for, it still moves the heart of God—and often my own heart follows. Even when I feel like I’m not “productive”, my prayers are actually shifting and moving things across the globe.
Today, I’m in the Prayer Room to behold and bless the Lord. I get to stand in the gap, as I join Jesus at the right hand of the Father in prayer for the nations. I get to lift His name up because He is worthy of all the glory, praise, and honour.
That's why prayer is never a waste of my time.