I thought that I’d already given everything to Jesus because I moved to New Zealand.
This month I was shown that I couldn’t have been more wrong.
At the start of July, I moved to Tauranga to do the Leaders Internship with YWAM Furnace NZ. One of the main themes of the internship has been intimacy with Jesus—I didn’t realise how much I needed it.
On a rainy Friday afternoon, we were in evangelism training and honestly, I was pumped to get out and talk to people about Jesus.
But when we got out to share the gospel, I completely shut down.
I had absolutely no desire to talk to anybody at all, let alone about Jesus. I was confused at how quickly my mood and perspective had changed.
In class the next week, we were being taught about how vital intimacy with Jesus is and things became clearer to me. When we don’t spend time with Jesus, listening to His voice and reading His word, we can’t fully know who He is. We can lose our passion for Him so easily. This is where my struggle with evangelism came from—I hadn’t been filling myself with truth from the Word so I found it hard to talk to others about it.
So I got to questioning how to put intimacy with Jesus in the first place in my life, and when could I have a quiet time with Him.
Mornings? Don’t be ridiculous! I already have to get up at 7:15, I can’t do earlier than that, no way! Afternoons? I’m way too busy for that. Evenings? Well then I’ll just be way too tired… Hmmm, it seems I’ve run out of options. What do I do now?
“I thought you said that Jesus was worth it all?”
Said that familiar voice in my head that I like to call conviction.
If Jesus is worth moving all the way across the world for, then how is He not worth an alarm set for 6:30 to spend time with Him?
So I set an alarm for 6:30 AM.
Two weeks later, I am closer to Jesus than I’ve ever been, I feel full of joy and peace all for the sake of 45 minutes in bed in the morning. Although I still get that sinking feeling inside when that alarm goes off, it’s truly so worth it and I don’t intend to go back anytime soon.
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