We’ve all been asked to do something that we don’t want to. From washing the dishes to looking after a younger sibling on a Saturday night.
Recently, God was asking me to step up and lead worship. I didn't want to.
“I love worship. But I don’t want to lead worship. I don’t want to deal with all the ‘faff’ that goes along with worship leading. And I definitely don’t want all those eyes on me!” This is what I told my friend when she asked me about worship leading.
I told her how the 'behind the scenes' of worship leading isn't for me. "I can't pick out set lists or lead a worship pratice. I don't want to tell much more experienced musicians what to do and not to do." Worship leading really is a lot of work, and honestly, I wasn't willing to do that.
But above all, I was terrified because I didn't think I was good enough.
But God, in all His kindness, has taught me something I didn’t know I needed to learn in a way that I would’ve never expected.
In my final year of school, I wrote a 5000-word research report on orcas. And since then, I haven’t given it much thought. But the day after I had that conversation with my friend, it came to mind, so I went back and I read it.
One particular part stood out to me: a feeding method that has been observed in groups of orca called the ‘carousel method’.
Put simply, the orcas swim around the school of fish in sync with one another and herd the fish into a ball. Some orcas will then slap the water with their tails in order to stun the fish. Then they take turns to feed on the stunned fish.
Scientists observed that there are always more orcas herding and stunning than feeding at any one time.
The orcas work hard herding and stunning fish so that others in the pod can feed.
This was swimming around in my mind for days, but I couldn’t seem to find how it related to my life in any way. Until I opened my Bible to Romans 12.
Verses 4-8 leapt off the page and slapped me right in the face, and suddenly it all fell into place.
The passage tells us that we are all members of one body - we are to work together and use our gifts for one another.
For me, this means using my gifts to lead worship, like the Lord asked me to.
The question is; am I willing to deal with all the ‘faff’ and work that goes with worship leading so that those around me can worship without distraction? Am I willing to lay down my own self-doubt and believe that God will equip me for the calling?
In other words, am I willing to work to herd the fish so that others in the pod can feed?
The only answer I could possibly have is ‘yes’.
Not because everything within me wants to be a worship leader, but because God has given me a gift and a calling and I know that it is the best thing for me and for the body of Christ.
We all have a calling. We all have something that the person next to us doesn’t have. God is asking us to share the gifts that He has given us, even when we don't want to.
It’s not always easy, but it's always worth it.
I'm still scared of worship leading. I still don't have all the confidence I would like. I still don't always want to put the work in. But since the start of this journey, I have led worship a few times and it's never as bad as I think it will be. I actually love it.
So what is God calling you into that you don't want to do? What are the fish that you need to stun so that your pod can feed?
"...in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us."