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How God Brought My Heart to Life on DTS | YFNZ Story

Posted on Aug 28, 2020, in the categories: DTS, YFNZ Story
How God Brought My Heart to Life on DTS | YFNZ Story

I arrived in New Zealand for my Discipleship Training School (DTS) with YWAM Furnace in January 2019. I still remember the unexpected heat as I left the airport, dressed for the cold UK winter that I had just left behind. The first few days of my DTS went by in a bit of a blur. A flurry of meeting new people, hearing new accents, learning a new schedule and of course, smiles, jokes and laughter. But what all my new friends didn’t know is that behind my huge smile and loud laugh, my heart was dead.…

Stop Putting God in a Box | YFNZ Devotional

Posted on Aug 13, 2020, in the categories: YFNZ Devotional
Stop Putting God in a Box | YFNZ Devotional

“Star Breathing God, You came down” – Lyrics from a song I wrote a few months ago. But when I wrote the song, I don’t think I fully understood the true magnitude of what those words actually mean. As a missionary, I don’t get paid for what I do – I rely on God for my finances and needs. He always provides – for the 18 months that I’ve been in YWAM, I’ve never been lacking. But over the past few months I’ve been asking God for more. …

The 9 Ways Missionaries Say Goodbye

Posted on Jul 9, 2020, in the categories: Travel Tips
The 9 Ways Missionaries Say Goodbye

Saying goodbye. It’s the elephant in every room, a silently acknowledged fact, a normal rhythm of a missionary’s life. Jesus commissioned us to “go into all the world”, and we know it’s not easy. But how do you deal with so many goodbyes? I’m a missionary kid, I’ve moved countries three times, and I’ve been in missions for over five years. Through all of these experiences, I’ve got a storehouse of goodbyes. I learned the hard way to process them—or else the grief caught up to me, one way or another. When I finally started processing my own transitions, nine “types” appeared around me (and in me)—each dealing with their losses in a unique way.…

What Life After Lockdown Really Feels Like | YFNZ Story

Posted on Jun 25, 2020, in the categories: YFNZ Story
What Life After Lockdown Really Feels Like | YFNZ Story

I held my breath.  The whole nation waited for the 4PM announcement—would the Prime Minister and the health advisor really say it? New Zealand shut down hard and fast, closing borders and ordering one of the strictest lockdowns in the world. Could it actually end? "We did it." And with that, lockdown in New Zealand was complete.…

When My Mess Became My Song | YFNZ Story

Posted on Jun 11, 2020, in the categories: Post-DTS, School of Worship, DTS, Worship Track, YFNZ Story
When My Mess Became My Song | YFNZ Story

It was my second week of School of Worship. First-thing Tuesday morning, Wendy asked one question. "What do you really think of God?" I squirmed. Growing up in the church, we didn't talk about this stuff. But here was a Christian teacher, pushing me to be honest. I mean, I knew the Psalms were littered with raw, messy lyrics. So I couldn't keep sugar-coating my theology. After class, I walked straight to the Prayer Room. Armed with my journal, I settled in to two hours of live worship and prayer. Time to be honest. Messy, even. Hesitant, I started to write: You are disinterested. You don't really care about me.…

Why Does God Let Us Harm Each Other? | YFNZ Devotional

Posted on May 29, 2020, in the categories: YFNZ Devotional
Why Does God Let Us Harm Each Other? | YFNZ Devotional

Why does God let other people hurt us?   For that matter, why does He let us hurt ourselves? It’s because God has granted to each human the incalculable gift of free will. On one hand, it is the greatest gift He could offer us, since it makes true relationship possible. It makes art and music and poetry and amazing feats of engineering possible. It gives us the ability to dream and create and argue and think our own thoughts. It gives other people the ability to surprise us, to delight us, to comfort us. Without free will, we’re less than human, less than interesting, and might as well have remained inert clay with no breath of God breathed in. But it comes at a high price.…

What If God Asked You to Stay, Not Go? | YFNZ Story

Posted on May 21, 2020, in the categories: YFNZ Story
What If God Asked You to Stay, Not Go? | YFNZ Story

It was January in the Middle East. I stepped into the aisle of the airplane, and thought back to the conversation I had with God weeks before I left. When I had the opportunity to go on a mission trip to the Middle East, I was confronted by a very difficult question. Even though it was very unlikely for something bad to happen— Would I be willing to lay down my life to GO for Jesus?…

What If You Prayed Knowing You've Won? | YFNZ Devotional

Posted on May 14, 2020, in the categories: Prayer, YFNZ Devotional
What If You Prayed Knowing You've Won? | YFNZ Devotional

I woke up one sunny morning, about halfway through our lockdown in New Zealand. I got up, made my classic breakfast of avocado on toast, and sat down on the couch to pray and get my day started. I flipped open my journal and began to write down all the difficult things I had been dealing with. Being away from family. The sickness and death of family members. And well, I was bored with being in quarantine for so long.  I started praying through my list of "issues". I asked God to heal the world. I asked Him to help my heart stop hurting from being away from family. Lastly, I asked Him to help me not be so bored. My prayer lasted about 15 seconds. I picked up my phone and started scrolling through Instagram.…

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